


I want to be a context for you, and you for me.

by altun



Series: i won't show you what i really am (look at me, look at me) [1]
Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Character Interpretation, Azul's POV, Canon Compliant, Character Study, M/M, Missing Scene, Pre-Slash, a.k.a my usual pretentious jam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25284166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/altun/pseuds/altun
Summary: I have built a you within me (or, maybe, you have).
Relationships: Azul Ashengrotto/Riddle Rosehearts
Series: i won't show you what i really am (look at me, look at me) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831801
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	I want to be a context for you, and you for me.

**Author's Note:**

> An attempt to expand Riddle and Azul's conversation @ Riddle uniform R personal story.
> 
> Title and summary taken from: This Is How You Lost The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar (with a little modification on the summary). 
> 
> I swear, that sh*t is chock-full of pining. If you're a simp of character(s)-pining-for-someone dynamics like me, this one is definitely worth a read.

“Oi, slow down, don’t push!”

“It’s  _ you  _ that should slow down!” 

“I can’t get through...”

“Heeey, since you’re already inside, can you look mine up too?” 

To no one’s surprise, the corridor was already packed to the brim with anxious students by the time when Azul was already moving away from the test scores, score notes already secured in both his notebook and phone. Looking at students jostling each other to the general direction of the school’s bulletin board, Azul couldn’t help but shake his head at their predictability and short sightedness, in full display by the way they jostled against each other mindlessly just for the sake of a peek at their score.  _ Really, it’s not like the staff would remove the results anytime soon... _

“Can you all make way a bit? There are too many people now and no one can pass through.” However, a clear voice halted Azul’s feet momentarily, as his mildly mocking facial expression shifted into one of identification.  Instantly recognizing the distinct authoritative tone that he would never mistake for anyone else’s, Azul’s head tilted backward as if by instinct, his steps to retreat from the masses momentarily halted as his eyes caught on a familiar red mop of hair.

_ Riddle-san seems like in a hurry…  _ Sparing a cursory glance at Riddle’s crossed arms and lightly tapping feet, it was clear to Azul that the redhead had somewhere else he would rather be at the moment.  _ Skipping the test results announcement again, huh…  _ Shaking his head as if beside himself, in a split second Azul decided that the cafeteria can wait for a few moments as he made his way to his fellow dorm head.

**“** Oh, Riddle-san. They posted up the test results, are you not interested in checking it?” Azul greeted the redhead with choosing his wordings carefully to make sure the intended recipient won’t thought of him as an annoyance for once again interrupting his hurried strides. 

**“** It’s you, Azul…” Riddle’s perpetually stern grey eyes gazed at Azul’s own aquamarine ones as he recognized Azul’s smiling face in between the masses, approaching nearer and nearer towards his general direction. 

For a brief moment, the sheer intensity of that gaze alone made Azul forget to breathe.  _ Really, relaxing your gaze just a bit won’t hurt…  _ He thought helplessly as he faced his fellow dorm head, and armed himself to teeth with his trademark business smile.  _ For someone so capable, you’re really careless about these kinds of thing huh… how inconvenient... _

“Whether I check it or not, it’s always the same.” Riddle replied Azul’s question with ease, the impassivity that underlaid his self-assured words somehow managed to get under Azul’s skin despite his best efforts to anticipate it.

.

(After becoming acquaintanced with the boy named Riddle Rosehearts for more than one academic year, it was no longer a surprise to Azul that their personal rivalry was only perceived as such by him and him alone.

Still, for some unknown reason, that particular fact never became easier for him to swallow.)

.

**“** That’s true. With a full mark on every subject, there is no way you’re not number one.” The glasses-wearing boy initially intended to leave the conversation at that, but  _ damn _ his unstoppable motor mouth and stubborn fixation to impress for not providing that choice for him. 

.

(And maybe there was also a bit of spite in there too; that dull, persistent annoyance characteristic of one craving for attention. Azul tried not to think too much about what implication that it held.)

.

He ended up blurting out a meaningless compliment instead; the exact type of words that he perfectly knew Riddle hated the most. “But I thought even you couldn’t get full marks this time… As expected of Riddle-san.”

Oddly enough, instead of recoiling from the admittedly redundant, over-the-top praise like what Azul had feared, Riddle was silent for a moment, as if in deep thought. Then, he suddenly responded to Azul’s remarks, tone contemplative as he voiced out his impression on the test.  **“** Aah… There is one problem that is a bit of a nuisance. The themed question on the magician, with roots in Desert Country’s culture.”

_ Hm? Seems like today someone feels like talking… I wonder what might cause that...  _ Azul’s eyebrows raised as he heard Riddle’s words, pleasantly surprised and a tad bit hopeful at the rare instance of the redhead’s willingness to not only tolerate his frivolous attempt at pleasantries, but also prolong a non-duty related conversation with him of all people.

With his head inclined towards Riddle’s direction, Azul waited the next words with bated breath. 

As if noticing Azul’s visible interest in the topic, Riddle continued on with his explanation. Azul’s keen sight couldn’t not notice the vibrant gleam in Riddle’s gray eyes. “Three days before the test, there was a thesis announced based on new materials on Desert Kingdom’s history. If you miss out on that, you wouldn’t be able to answer the question and miss out on the point.”

_ As expected of Riddle-san, what an astute observation.  _ Hearing the informative exposition on how his Heartslabyul counterpart went through such painstaking steps in order to ensure a perfect score, Azul couldn’t help but becoming amazed and cautious in equal measure.  _ But… such valuable information, there must be a hefty price that I must pay back for that, what is his price god dammit I probably should stop before it’s too late---,  _ his mind warned incessantly, wary of the potential debt that he had landed himself into. 

However,  _ damn him _ and his perpetual thirst in regards to the matter of people’s mental nooks and crannies, he decided to take his chance at uncovering a glimpse of the know-how of Riddle’s mind instead of putting a brake on his goddamn curiosity.

.

(To glean a bit more of an understanding at how those rigorous, tenacious corks and screws inside of his head worked to produce that sharp, seamless wit that had few peers even in this supposedly prestigious school; of course, for the infamously busybody dorm head of Octavinelle, it was a once in a blue moon chance, way too priceless to pass up.) 

.

Deciding to take a calculated risk, Azul decided to prod a bit further. “Yes, the situation is as it is, so even the teachers were discussing on whether or not to deduct points from it, but… there is one student who achieved full marks so that question is counted in."

Riddle’s eyes raised momentarily at the seemingly trivial remark, his go-to neutral expression shifting into something slightly more animated. Oddly enough, Azul thought, there was also a sliver of guilt there, sandwiched between the more apparent signs of surprise. “...I see. Perhaps I should apologize for that.”

_ An apology? For what exactly? For putting more foresight and effort in the exams than the rest of us 2nd year students?  _ Behind his rather mild facade, Azul’s mind was whirring as he grappled with the unforeseen statement.

Azul couldn’t help but feel a sense of bewilderment to his fellow dorm head’s rather blase reaction of accomplishing the near-impossible feat of scoring perfect mark in their most recent test, with it being as unreasonable as it was for using materials outside of their classes’ usual scope.

However, when Azul thought more about it, that was not exactly the first time Riddle showed this kind of behavior. 

.

.

[Their uncalled for meeting brought Azul’s mind back to  _ that  _ one instance, in which he managed to witness a facet of Riddle’s personality that made him question the entire foundation of his understanding of the redhead. 

_For someone allegedly trying to sneak out unannounced, your steps sure are_ _loud,_ Azul tried his darndest to prevent a snort from slipping out as he heard hurried, tip-tap sounds echoing in the corridor. Exerting his eavesdropping skill to its utmost limit, he could faintly made out the conversation that two people behind him and Jade were having at that moment, making their way to their respective dorms after the annual opening ceremony.

.

(Don’t blame Azul for feeling especially curious; for all his achievements in the school, Riddle was infamously private (doubly troublesome when his enormous pride also made luring him into contract especially difficult) and only kept a small, intimate ring of associates around him. 

Hell, he even doubted that said associates even really managed to  _ understand  _ Riddle’s in and out, with the redhead hell bent on suppressing any kind of personal characteristics that didn’t have any relation with his school responsibilities.) __

.

**“** Seriously, what kind of year is this. With that weird familiar starting a scene; what a wretched opening ceremony.” The sentence was followed by an indignant huff, the redhead dorm head’s familiar exhaustion palpable in his voice even from the distance between him and Azul. 

A deeper sound replied back, one that Azul knew belonged to one Trey Clover.  **“** It’s not too bad. Thanks to Riddle, everything was resolved without injury, everybody is very grateful for your efforts.” 

**“** I just followed the rules and did what was natural.” 

_ Deflecting empty praises by downplaying your own accomplishments, huh… What a Riddle-san classic move…  _ Azul brought up a clenched fist to cover up a chuckle. Jade, who was walking right beside him, looked down at his direction, his default polite smile turned a tad bit askew as he tried to contain his amusement. The only response Azul gave to his number two was a side-eye and a frown.]  __

_. _

_. _

(That chance encounter made it clear to Azul about one fact about his and Riddle’s whole dynamics: while their beliefs might intersect on the matter that concerned the value of perseverance and diligence in reaching one’s goal, the matter of their personal perceived end game to all that hard work was totally a different baggage altogether.)

.

. 

[ There was a pause, before Azul heard Riddle’s next words. They nearly brought Azul’s steps into a halt, just by the sheer unpredictability of them. 

**“** It was Azul who did well. That guy, he utilized me…”

It never occured in Azul’s wildest mind that those words of honest admission would ever came out of Riddle of all people, being as prideful as he was.]

.

.

(Those words Riddle said at that day, along with the feeling of guilt apparent in their conversation, further highlighted that difference: while Azul found his worth in his painstaking endeavors to make himself reign supreme while leaving others in the dust, Riddle worked with an opposing principle behind his borderline desperate quest in achieving perfection; that he found his worth in guiding others along with him in a journey towards said perfection instead. 

Azul realized, that Riddle’s obscenely high pride never centered on his own self. For some unknown reason, that realization ticked him off more that it should.)

.

_ Hehe, how very ridiculous...  _ Azul scoffed internally at Riddle’s response, as his admittedly self-serving way of thinking perceived it as an illogical, absurd showcase of weakness from a supposedly one of the most formidable force of personality he had ever meet in his life so far. 

_ And yet… this is also the reason why you’re so very interesting…  _ However, at the same time, in the secrecy of his innermost conscience, there was also a part of him that got drawn to that side of Riddle’s personality; helplessly transfixed at the sheer contradiction that is Riddle Rosehearts, itching to strip the rest of his tightly guarded thoughts, wishes and fears and everything else in-between bare for his eyes to see. 

.

(And there was also the matter of reciprocity; consciously felt or not, the very knowledge that Azul had  _ some  _ kind of effect on the redhead felt  _ good. _ It might not compare to the effect that Riddle had had on Azul, but at least there was  _ something.  _ It meant that there was still a ‘maybe’; being an opportunist that he was, it was par the course that he would take on that chance.)

.

_ Whoops, almost slipped there...  _ Brewing thought forcefully shifted aside, Azul let out reassuring words to Riddle with a benign smile. “No, we are the ones who did not notice there was a new thesis, it was our carelessness. From here on, I’ll be sure to check thesis related to the test scope.”

.

(The words, declared quietly in the middle of chaotic scenery unfolding around them, already lodged themselves deep in the innermost part of Azul’s mind. 

Not unlike a hidden contract to bind their paths together waiting to be signed, not unlike an extended hand waiting to be taken; it was, for all intents and purpose, an open invitation.) 

.

**“** That is a good idea. Subjects like history is very influential, and the theories change easily.”

A beat of silence fell upon them after Azul ran out of conversation topic and Riddle had said all that he had to say. In that singular moment, their eyes were locked into each other and Azul became way too aware of his thundering heartbeats, drumming incessantly behind his rib cage.

“Anyway, please excuse me now, let’s meet again at a dorm head meeting.” 

With a hand wave and neutral words, Riddle excused himself and left the premise in a heartbeat, bursting their little bubble as his little feet brought him away from the increasingly crowded corridor.  __

With a wordless nod and a demure smile, Azul let him go just like that. 

However, unbeknownst to the Heartslabyul dorm head, Azul’s gaze lingered behind his retreating back, determined gleam reflected in his eyes as his mind set on to a far away destination. 

**Author's Note:**

> Remember that time when I said something about TWST one shot WIPs? Well, this is one of them. I admit that this is quite a mess, with the big idea of this fic somehow still felt vague and unfocused (I would like to think of it as another facet of storytelling to underlie the still vague, subtle dynamic between these characters and Azul's own evasiveness on the matter of personal feelings, but even in my desperation to finally post I'm well aware this that defense is flimsy at best and delusional at worst... welp). 
> 
> In short: I don't really know what the heck I'm writing, but anyway, enjoy this humble brainrot Azurido offering. If you're interested to talk more about this ship or TWST in general, don't hesitate to drop a message or two on my tumblr account @onetoomanysteps.
> 
> P.S: For those who are concerned, I'm still working on my multichap fic, don't worry. It's just that I need some warming up to switch into creative writing mood after finally finishing my undergrad thesis...
> 
> Regards,  
> altun


End file.
